She’s P-Waaaaaaay Off Course

(I have come into a fast food restaurant for a quick bite. There is a woman in front of me waiting in line.)

Woman: “Where is my food?”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. Have you been waiting long? I’ve just come on.”

Woman: “Yes. I have been waiting forever!”

Cashier: “Do you have an order number? Maybe just tell me your order and I’ll find it.”

Woman: “You mean I have to order?!”

Cashier: *taken aback* “Yes. How else would we know what you want?”

Woman: “That’s ridiculous. I’m the Mayor’s PA. You should know what I want!”

Cashier: *dumbfounded*

Me: “Actually, you aren’t [Mayor]’s PA, because my grandmother has that honour.”

Woman: “I have no idea who that is! I’m the PA for the Mayor in [Town].”

(The cashier and I both look at each other, bewildered.)

Cashier: “Umm, where is that, exactly?”

Woman: “It’s in Norfolk.”

(We are literally on the Welsh border here, so the woman was talking about a town on the other side of the country. The cashier was literally speechless. After a few seconds the woman screamed that they were all incompetent and stormed out.)