She’s Not Very Five Alive

(A customer approaches my register, sets a single frozen meal down, and tells me she has six total. I hit the quantity button and scan it, and the transaction completes as normal. She stands aside and studies her receipt, and then approaches me again while I’m ringing out other customers.)

Customer: “Excuse me, how many did you ring me up for?”

Me: “Six.”

Customer: “I only have five here.”

Me: “Sorry, but you did tell me you had six.”

Customer: “I thought so, but I only have five now. Where did the other one go?”

Me: “I handed the one I scanned back to you.”

(She starts peering all around behind my counter as if I had hidden it back there, and then she goes back to her cart and I hear her slowly count her TV dinners, sorting them into stacks, turning them over and recounting them.)

Customer: “Two… and two… and one…” *looking back at me* “That’s five, isn’t it?”

Me: *internally face-palming* “It appears so. You can grab another one, since you paid for six, or we can refund you for the extra one you were charged.”

Customer: “Well, there were no more on the shelf.” *trails off and stares blankly at me*

Me: “Okay, then just hop back in my line and I’ll refund you.”

(I take one box to scan and issue the refund. I hold the item out and she starts to walk away with a dazed expression.)

Me: “Ma’am? You can take this back; I only needed it for a moment.”

Customer: “But, but, you just refunded me for… Wait, I didn’t want it, right?”

Me: “Okay, let’s go over this again.”

(She still didn’t quite understand, but I assured her that she had, indeed, paid for it and she accepted it reluctantly and left, still muttering to herself in confusion. I got distracted by a phone call and she was long gone by the time I realized she had also left her pocketbook tucked under the card reader.)