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She’s Not Chicken; She’s Got AUDACITY

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: ShenaniganXD | December 3, 2020

I work for a large retail and grocery company. And like most grocery stores, we have a deli section.

I am working the returns desk, which I am still fairly new at, and a customer rolls up with a cart that has two cardboard boxes full of half-eaten fried chicken. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much fried chicken before.

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to return this fried chicken.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I ordered this for a family reunion this past weekend. I took it home to my family and when we got to eating it, it was all burnt and nasty. We weren’t satisfied, and I’d like my money back.”

I’d like to note that she’s still wearing her family reunion shirt.

She’s quoting our fresh food policy, which is 100% money-back guarantee. So, I decide to follow through with the return, although in my head I’m trying to figure out why anyone would buy fried chicken from us, ever. Of course, it is going to be bad; our deli food is known for being nasty.

The customer hands me her receipt and it says she bought two orders of seventy-five pieces of chicken, totaling about $100. I do the return and give her her money back, and I come around to grab the cart of chicken.

It doesn’t end there.

Later, I’m taking returns and claims back to their respective sections: bakery to bakery, frozen to frozen, etc. I roll the chicken cart over to deli, and the workers greet me, confused.

Deli: “What’s this?”

Me: “Claims. A lady came and returned these. Said they were burnt and nasty.”

Deli: “And you took it back?”

Me: *Shrugs* “Yeah, it’s policy. 100% money-back guarantee.”

At this point, they’re now visibly angry. I have a mini-freak-out and start to doubt myself. Is that the policy? Did I do it wrong? I am still new at returns, so it’s possible.

Me: “Was I wrong?”

They tell me no and sigh. They ask what the customer looked like and I described her to them. They get angrier.

Deli: “She came in last weekend to pick up that big order of hers. It took us all day to make it. She came in and didn’t have enough money! She told us she didn’t know it would be that much. She told us about her family reunion and how much it meant to her. She started crying. She only had about $80 on her, so we — the deli and bakery workers who were in that day — decided to chip in and help her pay for the rest.”

All three of us look down at the cart and cardboard boxes filled with half-eaten nasty chicken.

This is why I have trust issues.

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