She’s Just Green With Envy Over Your Happiness

My girlfriend and I, both women, are getting married next year. We’ve been planning everything, despite her mother’s attempts to intervene. So far, she’s thrown a hissy fit over the bridesmaids’ dress color, tried to change the floral arrangement without my girlfriend’s knowledge or consent, and tried to force her female cousin to be the maid-of-honor instead of the woman my wife chose.

Soon, everything comes to a head when my future mother-in-law tries to control the guest list.

Mother-In-Law: “You need to uninvite [Guest #1] and [Guest #2].”

Girlfriend: “Why, Mom?”

Mother-In-Law: “Because I invited [Woman], and we’ll be exceeding the number of guests allowed.”

Girlfriend: *Sighs and pinches her nose* “Mom, I told you not to make any changes. [My Name] and her parents are paying for most of it, and you’re not paying a cent. I’ve made some compromises already to suit her needs. Besides, she doesn’t know [Woman], and [Woman] has never liked me, anyway.”

Mother-In-Law: “But she’s my friend!”

Girlfriend: “Exactly: she’s your friend, not ours. We already got the licenses and everything, and if they find out we exceeded the limit, we could get in trouble.”

Mother-In-Law: “You and [My Name] only get so much say in how it goes! I told you not to get that disgusting color of green for the bridesmaids’ dresses!”

Girlfriend: “Is that what this is about? You just don’t like the dress color? Well, too bad. [My Name] paid for them, so she gets to choose what color they are. Personally, I love the color. It goes well with most of our bridesmaids. Now, Mom, I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

My mother-in-law just sighed theatrically and petted the cat while pretending to sulk.