She’s Got A Ticket To Bribe

(I work as a delivery driver, so I sometimes stop in awkward places, such as permit-only bays. One day I have to stop in such a place. I make my delivery as quick as possible, but when I come out I see a traffic warden eyeing up my van, about to give me a ticket.)

Me: “Hey, sorry. I was just delivering a parcel. I’m just leaving.”

Traffic Warden: “I’ve started doing the ticket now, mate. Sorry.”

(I look at my watch and it’s nearly lunchtime.)

Me: “It’s nearly midday. If I give you a chocolate bar and a can of soda, could you possibly turn a blind eye to this?”

Traffic Warden: *thinks for a moment* “Okay, just this once.”

(He walked off with the food and I got in my van, happy I got away without a parking ticket. But as I drove off, I realised I gave him my own lunch!)