She’s Full Of More Hot Air Than The Air Mattress

I’m the assistant manager at a big store. My store has a policy that air mattresses can only be returned if they are unopened and accompanied by the receipt. This is clearly outlined on the shelf beside the product and on the receipt.

While I am standing behind the returns desk covering a bathroom break, a girl of maybe nineteen or twenty wearing a shirt for our local college comes up with a twin-size air mattress. It almost fit back in the box, but I can see it has been opened and resealed with packing tape.

Customer: “I’ll take a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, our policy states—”

Customer: “Look. I don’t care what the policy says. I’m not leaving until I get a refund.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds.

Customer: “I have all day.”

Me: *Smiling* “Okay. Could you step to the side?”

I pick up the box and move it to the other side of the register.

Customer: “Finally, you f****** idiot.”

Me: “I can help the next customer.”

Customer: “Excuse me? We are not done! I said—”

Me: “—you’re not leaving, I know. You’re free to stay all day, but there will be no refund.”

Customer: “Get your boss.”

Me: “I’m the highest-ranking manager in this store.”

Customer: “YOU B****! I don’t need this!”

Me: “I cannot return it.”

She screams in my face. I don’t move, so she takes her air mattress and storms out.

Next Customer: “What are the odds she bought that for a visitor this weekend?”

Me: “Very good, I would say.”

She left a one-star review on our Facebook page, but it was quickly removed.