She’s A Catho-holic

(My grandma is visiting for the week from Ireland. Like most Irish ladies of her age, she is a fiercely strong Catholic. I have just got home from school, along with my best friend. He is a British-Born Chinese guy named Kwan.)

Me: “Hello, Grandma.”

Grandma: “Hello dear! Oh, and who is your friend?”

Me: “This is Kwan.”

(My Grandma wrinkles her face a little.)

Grandma: “That’s not a Catholic name.”

Me: “No, it’s Chinese.”

Grandma: “No, that just wont do. I’ll call him Michael.”

Me: “But, Grandma—”

Grandma: *to Kwan* “Hello there Michael, would you like a cup of tea?”

Kwan: “Uh…”