She Was Out-Dated

(We are on our first official date. I think things are going well, but I notice he’s texting a lot.)

Me: “Who keeps texting you?”

Date: “Uh… my roommate. He wants to know if it was safe to go back to the apartment.”

Me: “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Date: “Well… uh… he wanted to make sure I didn’t have you there.”

Me: “On the first date?!”

Date: “No, NO! I would never expect that of you on a first date. He’s just assuming things.”

Me: *not entirely reassured* “Uh-huh.”

(He puts down his phone and we take the conversation in a different direction. About 10 minutes later, he starts texting furiously again.)

Me: “What’s your roommate saying now?”

Date: “Uh… not my roommate. It’s this girl… we’re friends… uh, we used to date… but it’s been a while. She and a bunch of my other friends are all hanging out tonight and… uh, she wants to know if I can come out there. I don’t really want to, but she asked, so I had to answer.”

Me: “And you told her that you were on a date. Right?”

Date: “Well… yeah… I told her I was busy.”

Me: “On a date.”

Date: “But she won’t stop asking now.”

Me: “Okay, so just stop answering. That’s what I do.”

Date: “Well… that would be rude.”

Me: *sighs*

(We end up cutting the date short, as he got a text from his roommate telling him his car broke down. I found out later that he had, indeed, gone to ‘hang out’ with the girl he used to date and their friends after picking up his roommate. Needless to say, we did not date for very long!)