She Was Doing A Brief Stint As A Newt

In a financial aid office at a private university in Florida, I ask a student for his mother’s federal tax form, as required by the federal government to receive financial aid. He says she is dead. We tell him we are very sorry for his loss and request a death certificate, again, as required by the federal government. The student goes away and returns three days later.

Student: “Here is my mother’s federal income tax form.”

Me: *Stunned* “Is this your stepmother?”

Student: “No, my mom.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought she was deceased?”

Student: “She got better.”

I’ve seen everything that happens in colleges.

Me: “Okay.”