She Sounds Like A Real Pest-o

, , , , | Friendly | August 18, 2020

I am on a date with a guy. We’ve known each other for a while due to mutual friends and it’s our second date. We are at an Italian restaurant.

Me: “Oh! The bruschetta comes with pesto. I love pesto. Do you want to share?”

Date: “Sorry, I wish I could but I don’t eat pesto; it has pine nuts in it.”

Me: “Pine nuts? Oh, wow. I did not know that.”

Date: “Yeah, I’m severely allergic.”

Me: *Joking* “I guess I should forgo the pesto if I want a good night kiss, huh?”

We are both laughing when a woman from another table, about three empty tables away, marches over to us.

Woman: “He’s lying!”

Me: *Confused* “Um? Hello? Are you okay?”

Woman: “He’s lying. Pesto doesn’t have pine nuts in. He’s a f****** liar.”

Date: “I think you’ll find that pesto is made from pine nuts and basil.”

Woman: “No. It isn’t.”

Me: “Whatever. Can you go? We’re trying to enjoy our meal.”

Waiter: “Hi, everyone! Can I take your order or do you need a few more minutes?”

Woman: “These two idiots think that pesto comes with pine nuts.”

Waiter: “Miss, this is a two-seater table. If you have a party of three, would you like me to move you to a bigger table?”

Date & Me: “No!”

Me: “We don’t know her. She just came over and started going off about pesto.”

Waiter: “Miss, if that’s true, you’re going to have to return to your seat.”

Woman: “But they’re lying!

The woman refused to move until the chef, manager, and waiter returned with provided allergy information. She was taken back to her table to get her purse before she was escorted from the building. Her husband and children did not get up from their food to join her, meaning this probably wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

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