She Should’ve Named You Rover

, , , | Related | December 18, 2020

My late mother was notoriously bad with names. She would frequently call me by my sisters’ names — I’m male — and them by mine, but she was such a good mother and we loved her so much that nobody really minded; we just teased her for being eccentric. However, this one occasion beat them all.

I am most emphatically not a morning person. Never have been, never will be. Unfortunately, every other member of my family is, so this used to cause a few problems.

One morning, my mother was standing at the bottom of our stairs, screaming my name — or so she thought — getting angrier and angrier that I was not getting up or even responding to her, and getting more and more puzzled as to why the dog was sitting there, looking so upset at her.

Yes, folks. She’d been yelling the dog’s name. Not just the usual wrong gender, but the wrong [expletive deleted] species!

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