She Should Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

(I am talking to my boyfriend while on my lunch break at work since he is already off for the day.)

Me: “Uh, I am so tired. I need coffee. Are you out? Can you bring me coffee?”

Boyfriend: “No. My foot hurts. It’s hard to drive a clutch when your foot hurts.”

Me: “But you’re driving right now…”

Boyfriend: “Can you hold on a sec?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I wait on hold for about two minutes before he comes back on.)

Boyfriend: *to someone else* “Can I get a straw with that, please?”

Me: “Are you serious?”

Boyfriend: *to me* “What?”

Me: “You just ordered yourself coffee, didn’t you?”

Boyfriend: “No. What makes you say that?”

Me: “Because I know you!”

(Sure enough, he put me on hold so he could order himself coffee and left me without!)