She Probably Has A Nice Collection of Tinfoil Hats At Home

I work part-time at an office supply store and we get a bunch of crazy and rude people, but this one stands out. I only have an hour left in my shift and my manager has me doing the monthly training when the delivery driver for a major parcel company comes looking around for the manager and just settles on talking to me.

Delivery Driver: “Well, today just got weird.”

Me: “What happened?”

Delivery Driver: “This lady over there—” *points to the printing department* “—is accusing me of stealing her faxes.”

Me: “Like you picked up her papers?”

Delivery Driver: “No, like I took her fax off the ‘airwaves’.”

Me: *Staring in confusion* “The airwaves?”

Delivery Driver: “Yeah, she thinks I’m stealing the info off the airwaves.” *Chuckles*

Me: “That’s not how that works. That’s not how any of this works.”

My manager comes in and he tells her the story, too. We both chalk it up to just another customer that doesn’t know how technology works, so we go back to what we are doing for the next ten minutes, and the driver goes back outside to his truck to finish picking up the packages

The customer the driver pointed to approaches my manager.

Customer: “Hi. I need to talk to you about the driver.”

Manager: “Yes? What’s the issue?”

I’m still doing my training but fully paying attention to this conversation from only six feet away.

Customer: “I don’t appreciate him being next to me while I’m sending these documents. They are very important, and I don’t want him pulling the information off the airwaves.”

Manager: “…”

My manager takes great care to not anger customers and to make sure they leave happy.

Customer: “I know he’s in his truck with his equipment stealing my information. I can feel the magnetic pulses off his truck. You know?”

The manager pauses and then nods.

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “These are very important documents that I need to send to the feds. He’s over there with all his equipment, stealing my info, because I have critical information that [Delivery Company] is running a drug cartel, and now everyone in here knows it!”

Manager: “…”

Me: “…”

By this point, I wasn’t even doing my training anymore; I was just fully looking at her, wide-eyed. She continued on, saying things like, “I work for a tech company; I know what I’m talking about,” and then trying to explain how a fax works using “airwaves” and how you can pull information with magnets

My manager, who I think was on autopilot, just kept saying whatever she wanted to hear and trying not set her off. The conversation lasted a good five or ten minutes. The customer eventually left, my manager and I had a laugh about it, and I went home not long after.

But wait! There’s more!

I was talking to my manager about this event later, and she told me that [Delivery Driver] had to take some time off because that nutjob followed him and attacked him, getting herself arrested. I hope she got that talk with the feds she wanted.