She Just Found Out Mario’s First Name Is Itsumi

A woman comes into the store with her child.

Customer: “I just found out that Nintendo is a Japanese company, and that Xbox is an American company.”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: *Narrows eyes.* “So you knew about this?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Most people into video games know this.”

Customer: “Hmm, I’ll have to write to our senator about this. Anyway, my son wants to play Mario, but I can only see it on those Nintendos. I’d like Mario but for Xbox.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not possible. Mario is only available on Nintendo devices.”

Customer: “Then get me someone who knows what they’re talking about.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter who you talk to, ma’am, Mario is a character owned by Nintendo. You won’t find games featuring him on any other console other than Nintendo.”

Customer: “This is where it all starts! You let these Asian companies into our American homes and then we lose jobs to them! It’s all because of people like you!”

She takes out her phone.

Customer: “I’m going to call the Senator about this!”

She trundles off, angrily dialing numbers into her phone. It was a Samsung.