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She Is Tea Total, Part 2

, , , , | Right | July 17, 2020

I’m working the bar at a local winery when a gentleman comes in. He seats himself at the bar and I ask if I can get him anything. He orders a bottle of wine and mentions that his wife will be joining him.

Me: “Would you like two glasses for the wine?”

Customer: “Probably not.”

I think nothing of this and go on about my shift. I notice his companion has joined him, and I walk up and greet her.

Me: “Would you like a glass to share this bottle, or perhaps I could interest you in something else?”

In addition to wine, we have beer, coffee, and soft drinks. The customer’s wife barks in disbelief.

Customer’s Wife:Excuse me?! I’m super pregnant. I can’t have wine!”

I apologize with a smile.

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t see that over the bar. Congratulations. Would you like a soft drink? We have—”

Customer’s Wife: “HOT TEA!”

Again, I apologize with a smile.

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry hot tea. I have coffee, both regular and decaf, and a variety of sodas, though.”

Customer’s Wife: “That’s bulls***. I want hot tea.”

Me: “Let me get the manager.”

I run back to the owner’s desk, where the manager and the owner are working on the schedule together. I explain the situation. The owner says, “But we don’t even have teabags!” The manager agrees to go talk to the customer, but she wants to hit a good stopping point before she drops the schedule.

I walk back to the bar and explain that I’ve made my manager and the owner aware, and they’ll be out shortly. Can I get them anything in the meantime? The gentleman orders a cheese plate, but his wife is pouting heartily.

Customer’s Wife: “I’m pregnant, and all I want is a f****** cup of hot tea. I should be allowed to get hot tea wherever I want!”

Customer: “We’re at a winery. You can’t expect them to have hot tea. Why don’t you just get a root beer?”


I went to the back to make up the cheese plate, while my manager and the owner came up to investigate the ruckus.

The story has a “happy” ending, though. The owner managed to find a teabag at the bottom of her purse. She produced it for the customer to inspect, with full disclosure that it wasn’t a menu item, and probably not even a recommended transaction with the board of health. The customer snatched it up and was charged the cost of a bottled water for the hot water I boiled up for her. She paid $1.75 to have a bottom-of-the-purse teabag because she wouldn’t relent to the fact that the world doesn’t strictly cater to her needs.

She Is Tea Total

Question of the Week

What is the most stupid reason a customer has asked to see your manager?

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