She Is Tea Total, Part 2

, , , , | Right | July 17, 2020

I’m working the bar at a local winery when a gentleman comes in. He seats himself at the bar and I ask if I can get him anything. He orders a bottle of wine and mentions that his wife will be joining him.

Me: “Would you like two glasses for the wine?”

Customer: “Probably not.”

I think nothing of this and go on about my shift. I notice his companion has joined him, and I walk up and greet her.

Me: “Would you like a glass to share this bottle, or perhaps I could interest you in something else?”

In addition to wine, we have beer, coffee, and soft drinks. The customer’s wife barks in disbelief.

Customer’s Wife:Excuse me?! I’m super pregnant. I can’t have wine!”

I apologize with a smile.

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t see that over the bar. Congratulations. Would you like a soft drink? We have—”

Customer’s Wife: “HOT TEA!”

Again, I apologize with a smile.

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry hot tea. I have coffee, both regular and decaf, and a variety of sodas, though.”

Customer’s Wife: “That’s bulls***. I want hot tea.”

Me: “Let me get the manager.”

I run back to the owner’s desk, where the manager and the owner are working on the schedule together. I explain the situation. The owner says, “But we don’t even have teabags!” The manager agrees to go talk to the customer, but she wants to hit a good stopping point before she drops the schedule.

I walk back to the bar and explain that I’ve made my manager and the owner aware, and they’ll be out shortly. Can I get them anything in the meantime? The gentleman orders a cheese plate, but his wife is pouting heartily.

Customer’s Wife: “I’m pregnant, and all I want is a f****** cup of hot tea. I should be allowed to get hot tea wherever I want!”

Customer: “We’re at a winery. You can’t expect them to have hot tea. Why don’t you just get a root beer?”

Customer’s Wife: “BECAUSE I DESERVE A HOT TEA!”

I went to the back to make up the cheese plate, while my manager and the owner came up to investigate the ruckus.

The story has a “happy” ending, though. The owner managed to find a teabag at the bottom of her purse. She produced it for the customer to inspect, with full disclosure that it wasn’t a menu item, and probably not even a recommended transaction with the board of health. The customer snatched it up and was charged the cost of a bottled water for the hot water I boiled up for her. She paid $1.75 to have a bottom-of-the-purse teabag because she wouldn’t relent to the fact that the world doesn’t strictly cater to her needs.

Related:
She Is Tea Total

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