She Has Illusions Of Grandeur

| Romantic | June 3, 2013

(My girlfriend has begged me for our entire relationship to learn magic tricks. I agree, and she’s just bought me a very expensive magic kit with over 200 tricks. I’m going through it.)

Me: “Well, I already know how the cards work—”

Girlfriend: “DON’T! Not a word! I have had my eye on that magic kit for over a year, with no one to learn magic for me. Now I have you to do it, and I will NOT have it ruined for me!”

Me: “Seriously?”

Girlfriend: “Not a word. I don’t want to know anything about it. It’s magic.”

Me: “But you can see it’s a kit—”

Girlfriend: “Not a word! MAGIC! It will ruin my life. Learning how those magic tricks are done will seriously ruin my life. Look at me. Look me in the eye.”

(She stares at me seriously.)

Girlfriend: “Especially … the sponge one.”

Me: “What?”

Girlfriend: “The sponge trick in there. It is my favourite magic trick of all time. Do not ever ruin it for me; it will destroy me.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(My girlfriend puts her head in her hands.)

Girlfriend: “I’m actually getting nervous about it now. You can’t stuff up that trick.”

(I’m a bit scared to learn it now…)

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