She Has Comic Timing

| Romantic | November 4, 2012

(I am in a comic book store that my boyfriend works at. While waiting for him to get off work I am reading a comic about a girl superhero with blue eyes are brown hair, wearing a revealing outfit. I’m fairly tall, and have brown hair and blue eyes. My bf is shorter and a bit husky. A Little boy and his father walk up to me.)

Little boy: “Oh, my God! Dad, it’s her! That’s the superhero on the book!”

Father: “Ha. No, no, its just a girl who looks like her. A pretty one at that. Hey beautiful, what you doing here alone?”

Me: “I’m just reading comic, and I’m not alone. My boyfriend is in the back.”

Father: “Eh, I kind of figured someone like you would have a boyfriend. You’ve got a great body. What’s he doing back there anyway? Beating up the nerds? You probably have a huge juice monkey of a boyfriend don’t you?”

Me: “Umm, no. He works here. There he is.”

(At this point my boyfriend comes out of the back, looking a bit more disheveled than usual, with his hair crazy and his glasses askew. He walks up to me and sees this guy leaning towards me.)

Boyfriend: “Hey babe, sorry I was a bit late.” *kisses me on cheek, then looks to the guy* “Can I help you, sir?”

(Father and son stare blankly at both of us, looking back and forth.)

Father: “No way, no way! Look at you! You’re a goddess! What are you? 6ft? Look at your waist and your boobs! Man how big are her boobs? Are those real? No way you could score with that! You’re a hooker maybe? You’ve got to be.”

Little boy: “Dad, he’s fat and short!”

Father: “Ya! Look at you! You’re a f***** hobbit! You can’t get with that!”

(I am visibly upset as my boyfriend just takes this. I have finally had enough and grab the guy off the ground by his shirt.)

Me: “You ain’t so hot yourself, bud. I suggest you don’t talk like this in front of your son. Now, get out of here before you make me do something I regret.”

(I put him back down and he leaves the store, swearing on the way out.)

Boyfriend’s co-worker: “Holy s***, man! She’s awesome! I thought you were joking when you said she was your girlfriend! How did you two meet?!”

Boyfriend and I: *in unison* “Comicon.”

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