She Has An Anachronic Case

(My mother is a schoolteacher. To celebrate the end of school, she and the other teachers have a party, of which the theme is anachronisms. My mother wears, among other things, a Greek toga and a top hat. During the party, she hurts her leg and phones me to help her get to the hospital. We finally get to see a doctor at two o’clock in the morning.)

Doctor: “So, er… What’s the problem?”

Mum: “I hurt my leg during a party.”

(She shows him where it hurts, and the doctor feels around for a while.)

Doctor: “How exactly did you do this?”

Mum: “Well, the music came on, and I was so excited to start dancing that I jumped up, and suddenly my muscle went pop!”

Doctor: “This is probably the most interesting accident we’ve had for a while. Will you take off your socks, please, so I can see better?”

(My mother pulls them off to reveal her blackened toes, which she had coloured in before the party.)

Doctor: “What’s that?”

Mum: “Oh, don’t mind that. It’s just the bubonic plague.”

(Later, as I am sitting in the waiting room while my mum has her leg bandaged, I hear the doctor saying she’d made his night!)

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