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She Gets A Lot Of Exercise By Running (Her Mouth)

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2021

I’m a bit of a fitness nut. I’m not in the best shape, but I’m fit and I enjoy it. I’ve only ever trained at home, and a new outdoor class is really popular online, so I email the instructor and turn up for the next session 

I catch up with the instructor before the lesson, explain who I am, and tell her that this is my first fitness class. She puts me near the other newbies and tells me to follow along as best as possible.

One newbie has overheard my conversation. 

Newbie: “Hi, I’m [Newbie]. This is my fourth week. It seems pretty intense, but you can stop for breaks whenever you want.”

Throughout, [Newbie] offers “advice” on how I should be doing the moves, although I’m sure I am doing just fine. [Newbie] is barely managing herself.

At the end, [Newbie] gives me her evaluation, which I didn’t ask for.

Newbie: “Not bad, but try to get the moves right and your knees up. I would say you did okay.”

Instructor: “Amazing first session. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

Me: “It’s my first proper class; I’ve done plenty of virtual stuff.”

Instructor: “Seriously, absolutely great. Not a thing wrong. [Newbie], could we try to be a bit more controlled in our movements?”

The instructor walks off. [Newbie] isn’t happy with me.

Newbie: “You lied. You made me look stupid!”

Me: “No, you were listing in on someone else’s conversation and made yourself look stupid.”