She Foiled Her Own Plans

In the small public library where I work, we have a cash register for purchases like copies and prints, plastic and tote bags, and late fines. We don’t bring in a lot of money, and since most people pay by card, we don’t have a lot of change in the drawer.

This morning, a lady I don’t recognize comes in. She needs help making copies of some paperwork — several copies of several different forms. I don’t pay much attention to what’s on them — officially, I’m not even supposed to look at the forms in order to protect the lady’s privacy — but she still chats away while I’m making the copies, telling me far more than I’d like to know about her financial situation.

Then comes the time to pay for the copies. I ring her up and tell her the total. She takes a wad of 500 kronor bills (500 SEK is a little less than 60 USD) out of her wallet and I can immediately see that this is going to be a problem.

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have change for a bill that size. We don’t get a lot of cash, so I can’t give back change for anything larger than a hundred.”

Patron: “Oh, I should have thought of that when I got my spending money for the month from the bank this morning. I thought you still accepted cash.”

Me: “We do, but I can’t make change for five hundred. You can also pay by credit or debit card or Swish [Swedish pay app].”

Patron: “But I hate using my debit card. That’s how you get scammed, you know. People next to you in line will steal your card details with their skimming things.”

She sends a significant glance over her shoulder at the person behind her in line, a regular patron who is waiting patiently for her turn in full compliance with social distancing recommendations.

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is literally no possible way for me to break that bill for you, even if I was to make an exception. I don’t have that much change in my drawer. But if you don’t want to pay by card, I can hold your copies for you so you can go back to the bank or to the grocery store; they’ll be able to break your bill.”

It’s a small town. Both of these places are no more than a hundred metres away.

Patron: *Sighs loudly* “No, no, I guess I will have no choice but to pay by card. I’m just worried I’m going to get scammed.”

Me: *Laughs* “Well, I don’t think you need to worry about that here. We’re a small public library; there aren’t a lot of con men around.”

Patron: “Oh, I didn’t mean you; I’m sure you’re honest. But you can never know who’s standing next to you in line.”

Once again, she gives the regular patron in line behind her the stink-eye. The regular patron pointedly takes another step back. The lady then proceeds to put her big wad of cash back into her wallet and take out a debit card WRAPPED IN ALUMINUM FOIL. She waves the card at me before unwrapping it.

Patron: “This is how you have to do it these days unless you want to get all your money stolen, you know.”

She pays. I print out her receipt and hand it to her. She spends a little more time rewrapping her card and getting her wallet and papers in order before she leaves.

I turn to help the poor regular next in line.

Me: “Sorry for the wait. How can I help you?”

Regular: *Smiling* “Wow, it’s not every day you get accused of being a criminal.”

Me: *Shaking my head* “Well, some people can’t be too careful, I guess.”

Regular: “Considering all that cash she was flashing around in full sight of everyone, I’d be more worried about getting mugged if I was her.”