She Fails Any Test, Drugs Or Otherwise

| Friendly | February 23, 2015

(A class dingbat comes to me in a panic because they are about to be drug tested, and they think it is a good idea to buy my urine.)

Dingbat: “Can I buy your urine? I’ll give you $200.”

Me: “Um, no. You’d fail it with mine.”

Dingbat: “But you don’t do drugs.”

Me: “Yes, but I’m also on ADHD medication, which will show up in a drug test.”

Dingbat: “No, it wouldn’t.”

Me: “Actually, yes, it would. [Drug] is a stimulant, and those are tested for in a drug test.”

Dingbat: “Yeah, but you’re like, prescribed that, so it wouldn’t show up in a test.”

Me: “So if you took an ADHD medication, would it show up on a drug test?”

Dingbat: “Yeah.”

Me: “So why wouldn’t my prescribed medication that is the exact same thing show up?”

Dingbat: “Because it was legally prescribed.”

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