She Apparated Right Out Of There

(I’m on a ghost walk with a group, and everything has been normal except our guide is a little high-strung and makes several comments about how she’s quitting because she can’t take it anymore. It’s around 10 pm, quite dark, and we’ve just entered a courtyard of an ancient church.)

Guide: “This area is particularly creepy. Every time I’ve brought a group here, something has happened. Once I had a medium who told me she saw this entity standing behind me the whole time… It’s said that some lovers arranged to meet here to run away and be married, because their parents didn’t approve, but when the boy arrived, he found the girl dead… They once found someone hanging from this tree.”

(As the guide is telling us the haunted history of the church, I shift my weight and suddenly, my hip joint cracks and echoes loudly on the stones.)

Guide: “Did you hear that? Did you guys hear that? It sounded like a footstep. Haha, I told you something always happens here. Um, so, well, that’s pretty much everything here. Now, if we’ll all just go back the way we came. Right, so through here. And, uh, well, normally we go into this pub just down the street here and have a few, but, um, well, I have to be up early tomorrow, so, yeah. That’s the tour, everybody! Thanks. Thanks for coming. Bye, all!”

(She all but ran down the sidewalk and disappeared. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, tour guide lady; I hope your new job is a lot healthier for you.)