She Almost Blue Up

(A customer comes in with a microwave in its box in their cart.)

Me: “Hi, how we doing today?”

Customer: “Crappy.”

Me: *lifting the microwave box out* “So, what was the reason for this return?”

Customer: “It blew.”

Me: “Blew up? Well, that’s not good. Were you using it at the time?”

Customer: “NO. It’s not blown up.”

Me: “But you said it blew.”

Customer: “Listen here, you moron: it’s blue. B. L. U. E.”

(This prompts me to blink and then raise an eyebrow. As I start to open the box, my manager comes over, and the customer begins to get in a huff.)

Customer: “What, you don’t trust me? You’re just racist like everyone else.”

Me: “Honestly, I’m just curious. I’ve never seen a blue microwave before.”

(She starts going off on a rant about how we’re obviously racist, while my manager shoots me a quizzing look. I shrug and open the box, then pull out the foam.)

Customer: “I knew I shouldn’t have come here, with you stupid racists. I’m going to complain. You idiots don’t know what you’re doing. I wanted stainless steel, and that moron back there sold me a blue microwave.”

(At this point, I know exactly what’s wrong, and try to chime in, only to have her yell at me to shut up. The manager is trying to explain, but she’s not hearing it. Halfway through her latest rant, I finally manage to get a bit of the film up, and I grab it and pull hard. There’s a LOUD ripping sound, revealing the stainless steel underneath. The customer looks at me in shock, and I shrug.)

Me: “It’s not blue now. The film, you see: you have to take it off. It protects the stainless steel.”

(The woman reluctantly took the microwave back. About twenty minutes later, while I was at lunch, the lady’s husband came back. My manager came looking for me, and I came out. The lady’s husband handed me a large pizza from the local pizza place, and then chuckled, saying that he’d tried to explain it to her, but she wouldn’t listen to him. The pizza was her idea to apologize for making an idiot of herself. Free lunch. I can’t complain.)