Sharing Is Despairing

(I am in college, living with my friend. He comes into the kitchen, where I am eating from a large bowl of pasta salad, and drinks straight from the bottle of juice in the fridge.)

Me: “Man, that’s gross! What if I wanted some of that?”

Friend: *looking genuinely apologetic* “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted any.”

Me: “Well, I might have.”

Friend: “Can I have some of that pasta salad?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, sure.”

(I offer him the bowl I’ve been eating from and he just stares at me until I get it.)

Me: “…oh.”