Shaq To Reality

(I work in the meat/seafood department of my store. Being in Orlando, it’s not uncommon for players from the Orlando Magic to come shopping at our store. This causes my coworkers to start a running gag: whenever we serve an especially tall customer, one of them will usually say, ‘Hey, look! It’s Shaq!’ out of the customer’s hearing.)

Coworker: “Hey, [my name], look. It’s Shaq.”

(I have my head in the shrimp case, and am unable to see over the counter, so I just mutter a reply.)

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Coworker: “Seriously, [my name]. Shaq’s coming this way.”

Me: “Right.”

(I pull my head out of the case, I see a tall man walk right up to me from the other side of the counter.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Shaq: “You got any live lobsters?”

(My jaw hangs open. It’s really Shaq.)

Me: “Uh… I’ve got some in the tank back here.”

Shaq: “Thanks.”

(He walks away without saying anything else or purchasing anything.)

Coworker: “I told you it was Shaq, man!”