Shakespearean Toilet Humor

I used to work in a library. In the pre-Internet days, I would often be called upon by parents hoping to get their children ahead of required reading at school.

Patron: “My daughter is doing a Shakespeare this semester. You know, the ‘double bubble, toilet trouble’ one.”

Me: “You mean ‘double, double toil and trouble’? That’s Macbeth.”

Patron: “No, it’s ‘toilet trouble’.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure it’s ‘double, double toil and trouble’, but anyway, if it’s Macbeth they’re reading, then I can show you our copies.”

I took them over to our Shakespeare section, and they grabbed the complete works instead of just “Macbeth”.

Patron: “I’ll get all of them just in case you’re wrong about it being Macbeth. You don’t even know the words to the song.”

I just nodded and helped them loan out their book. I then told my manager about the interaction during our break.

Manager: “Well, I can understand. Every time I’m cleaning my toilet, I’m saying, ‘Out, d***ed spot! Out, I say!'”