Sew Inappropriate

| Right | July 24, 2015

(I am in a fabric store looking at fabric for a friend’s Halloween costume, when an old lady enters and immediately comes over to me and stares for several minutes. I ignore her. She leaves, and I see her peeking around a corner at me several times. After a few minutes a policeman comes up to me.)

Policeman: “Can we take your name and address, sir?”

Me: “Okay, it’s [Address]. What’s up?”

Policeman: “We had a report that a gentleman matching your description was disrupting business here. Would you mind leaving?”

Me: “I just need to pay for my products.”

(At this point an assistant comes over and vouches for me. The police talk with the assistant. Suddenly the old lady comes barreling back.)

Old Lady: “Men should not be allowed to sew! If you were one of mine, I’d take you across my knee! This is pure sexism!” *she then slaps me* “There! Now learn your lesson and stop your evil ways.”

Policeman: *right behind her* “Ahem. Madam, would you mind stepping into the car?”

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