Serving Them Ain’t No Picnic

(Eight or so elderly women wander in to the restaurant and ask to look at the menu, during our quiet time between lunch and dinner. I glance at the manager and he nods to seat them. One woman takes it upon herself to be the spokesperson.)

Me: “Okay, ladies, we are only serving coffee and cake this afternoon as the kitchen has closed until dinner. Is that okay?”

Customer: “That is fine, dear. We are only after a coffee and a chat.”

Me: “No problem. I will arrange a table for you all and be back with the menus.”

(After ten minutes or so, I have a table and they have all sat down. As I start round the table I notice that only one or two are ordering anything. I ask if that is all they all nod and I off to grab their drinks. When I get back I notice that the women have taken packets of crackers and dips and cheese and all sorts of things out of their bags and have set them up on the table like a picnic!)

Me: “Um, excuse me, ladies, but you are not allowed to bring your own food into the restaurant. I will have to ask you to put that all away.”

Customer: “Pardon me; what did you say?”

Me: “You can’t bring food into a restaurant. You will have to put that away until you leave.”

Customer: *getting very haughty* “Well, I have never been treated so rudely! We are paying customers and if we want to sit and chat and have a nibble that is our right!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is your right if you were at a park or your home, but as we are a restaurant that makes money by supplying food and drink to people, you are being rude.”

(At this she asked for the manager. Lucky he had seen the whole thing, came to the table, and promptly requested the same as myself, at which the ladies packed up their food, stood up, and left complaining the whole time about how rude we were and how they will never be back. All I could say was “What a pity” with a big fake smile on my face.)