Serving By The Seat Of His Pants

(I have a regular customer who comes into the customer service desk where I work. He always needs help with the ATM. He’s a strange little fellow, always smells of beer and slurs his words. I am working on some paperwork when he comes in.)

Customer: “He-hey, hey, you’re the lady who helped me earlier right?”

Me: “Yes, is something wrong?”

(I had helped him with the ATM then did an exchange. He had gotten the wrong ice cream.)

Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d do me a favor?”

Me: “What do you need? I’ll try my best to help.”

Customer: “If I give you $40 will you take these pants back to the store for me and get me a smaller size?”

Me: “Uhm, no. I don’t get off work until seven so I don’t think I’ll be able to get there.”

Customer: “That’s fine. It’s okay. They don’t close until nine; you have plenty of time.”

Me: “I’m still going to say no. Sorry.”

Customer: “You’re saying no.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s a no.”

(He walked away without saying anything. My coworker and I just looked at each other like we both imagined it.)