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Seriously Cheesed Off, Part 5

, , , , , , , , , | Right | December 29, 2022

I work in one of those over-the-top fast food places that you only really find on The Strip in Las Vegas. There are several eating challenges where if you eat a certain amount, then it’s free, and we take your polaroid for a “wall of fame.”

We have an item on the menu that isn’t part of this deal but is equally ridiculous. I can’t say its real name but it’s something like the OCTUPLE-CHEESE QUADRUPLE-PATTY CHEDDAR EXPLOSION. Seriously, it is that ridiculous. Only in America can a heart attack be a challenge, not a fear.

A family walks in, and one of the guys wants to try this cheese explosion. His family sits down, and I bring out their orders. After a few minutes, they call me over.

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my burger.”

Me: *Eyeing the cheese explosion* “What’s that, sir?”

Customer: “There’s not enough cheese.”

I am eyeing the ridiculous cheese-to-literally-everything-else ratio as eight types of cheese meltingly ooze from his burger in all directions.

Me: “That is the… uh… standard amount of cheese that comes with the octuple-cheese quadruple-patty cheddar explosion, sir.”

Customer: “It’s just… I wanted more.”

Me: “Would you like me to—”

Customer: “I’m not paying for this.”

He takes another bite. Cheese oozes further onto his plate.

Me: “If you’d like to order something else, I can take this and—”

Customer: “No, I’ll finish it. I’m just not paying for it.”

Me: “Sir, if you continue to finish the meal, then you will have to pay for it.”

Customer: “Are you [slur for disabled people]? I’m… not… paying.”

As soon as he uses that word, I am done. I get my manager and explain the situation. My manager approaches the table.

Manager: “Excuse me, sir. My waiter told me that you have an issue with your meal?”

Customer: “Yes! I wanted more cheese! I didn’t get the expected amount.”

Manager: “I can also see that you’ve almost finished your meal.”

Customer: “I’m hungry! I’ll finish it, but I won’t be paying for it.”

Manager: “Sir, if you have an issue with your meal, we are happy to replace it provided you haven’t finished it, but if you proceed to finish it, then we will have to charge you for the meal.”

Customer: “Seriously? I am not paying. I made a complaint. Why aren’t you upholding a customer complaint?”

Manager: “Because, sir, you ordered the OCTUPLE-CHEESE QUADRUPLE-PATTY CHEDDAR EXPLOSION burger and thought to yourself, ‘What this needs is more cheese.’”

Customer: “You… You’re making me sound unreasonable!”

Manager: “Am I? I’ll have [My Name] come by with your check.”

He simmered. He finished his meal. He paid. There were huge clumps of cheese left on his plate.

Seriously Cheesed Off, Part 4
Seriously Cheesed Off, Part 3
Seriously Cheesed Off, Part 2
Seriously Cheesed Off

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