Sent To The Nurse For Extreme Existentialism

(I’m in history class, sitting across from a classmate who hasn’t gotten much sleep lately.)

Classmate: “Ugh… I wonder if I go to the nurse’s office and say I’m dying, she’d let me go home.”

Me: *with a straight face* “We’re all dying slowly. Each day we get closer to death.”

Classmate: “Okay, I don’t need to have an existential crisis today…”