Senseless About Census

(My husband and I are making small talk, and he mentions something about his senses.)

Me: “Hey, if I came to your door and gave you a false report on the demographics in the U.S., you know what you could say?”

Husband: “Uh… no?”

Me: “That your census had deceived you.”

Husband: “Uh huh. Well, if I put that report on a table and then left the room, it could be said I was taking leave of my census.”

Husband: “Then, if you made four copies and distributed them all, you know you’d be using your five census.”

Husband: “But lacking the sixth census.”

Me: “Of course! If you did a demographic report on the family Arachne, that would be acquiring spider census.”

Husband: “Indeed.”

Me: “And if you misplaced that report, then I would come in and ask you, ‘Have you lost your census, man?’ Also, if I tried to get everybody in your report to like me, you know what I’d be doing?”

Husband: “A con-census? No, wait, that’s the demographics on a gathering of comic book fans.”

Me: “I’d be trying to appeal to your census!”

Husband: “Mmhm.”

Me: “…okay, I’m done now.”

Husband: “Yeah, me too.”