Send Him Back Some Materials On Misogyny

(I work at a small engineering company. It is a wonderful place, everyone is really friendly, and we all hang out together off work and know each other’s families. I am the only female engineer there. The company is growing fast, so they hire a new office assistant. The guy is kind of incompetent, which we initially justify as having little experience, and often says things that come out sexist or racist. We pass that off as him being socially awkward or trying too hard to fit in. I guess we are so used to our great work environment, it doesn’t occur to most of us he is just an a**hole. Then, this happens. The company is to have a stand in a large conference overseas, and this guy fails to send some of the conference material – pamphlets, trinkets, etc. – in time. I am the last one to leave for the conference, by a few days, so the CEO asks me to bring some of it with my luggage. No problem, I think.)

Assistant: “So, this is what you’ll need to take to the conference.”

Me: *eyeing the large, heavy box* “All right. I was only taking one bag, anyway, so we’re okay on luggage count, but this will probably be overweight. How will I get compensated for that?”

Assistant: “It’s your responsibility to pack your bags to the airline standards. I know girls like to carry their houses in their bags, but you can live lean for a week!”

Me: *ignoring his comment* “I can probably rearrange this box between two bags and pack my things around it, so it should still be okay. Worst case, I can talk to [CEO] when I get there, I guess. And my cab to the airport is arranged already, so I just need a cab to get me home with this stuff.”

Assistant: “Don’t be silly. Transportation to and from work is on you; you know that.”

Me: “Sure, normally. But I take the subway, and I can’t take this big box in it.”

Assistant: “So, get your own cab. Just like a woman to want to make the most of a man’s money.” *laughs*

Me: *getting annoyed* “I’m certainly not spending my money on doing what should be your job. I’m doing this as a favor to [CEO] and the company.”

Assistant: “Look here, little girl. Just because you think you’re so smart and [CEO] lets you play at doing a man’s job, that doesn’t mean you can be this disrespectful. Now, you will take this material and get it to the conference, since that’s your only use for going in the first place.”

Me: “Yeah, no. I’m 24 with a Master’s degree in [specific engineering field], so I don’t have to think I’m smart. I was specifically invited to speak at this conference, so I’d be going even if there was no company stand there. And there probably won’t be, because I’m definitely not taking any of this crap with me.”

Assistant: “You’ll see what happens when [CEO] hears about this!”

(I left the material and went to the conference. When I got there and told [CEO] of this conversation, he was FURIOUS. Seems he’d told the assistant to go to the airport himself with the box, so it wouldn’t inconvenience me, and to pay all extra luggage fees as needed on the company card. The guy might have still only gotten a warning — that’s how lenient this place was — but, as it turns out, he mouthed off to the CEO, told him he should put the “girl” in her place, as everyone knew she was only there to “see to his needs,” just like the one he used at lunch. That would be the CEO’s wife, who sometimes went by the office so they could have lunch together. So, yeah, he was very much fired after that!)