Selling Fast Internet But Slow On The Uptake

(We got a new house in a great neighborhood. But one of the few drawbacks is pesky door-to-door salesmen. Usually, we send them away with a polite “no, thanks.” Not on this day. My family and I have just gotten back from the park to celebrate my baby’s first birthday. She is tuckered out and I am trying not to wake her as I get her out of the car. It takes me a while and anyone looking from the street can see I’m unloading a sleeping baby. Right as I close the door and set the diaper bag down, the doorbell rings and the baby wakes up. I’m not a happy mama and I answer the door with my cranky — but still chill — baby in my arms.)

Me: “Yes?” 

Salesmen: “Hi, ma’am. I’m going through the neighborhood talking to people about their Internet service. Are you familiar with fiber optic cable?” 

Me: “Not interested. Thank you.” 

(The salesman steps up onto the stoop, invading my personal space.)

Salesman: “Can I ask why not? All your neighbors are quite interested.”

Me: “How about I’m trying to put my baby down for a nap?! This isn’t a good time.”

Salesman: “But this is a really great deal! I’d hate for you to miss out.” 

(He reaches to touch my baby and I quickly move her out of his reach.)

Me: “Get off my property. Now.” 

(The threatening tone of my voice summoned my husband and mother. I was about to hand the baby off to my mom, but the guy finally got the hint and slunk off, looking at me like I was the jerk.)