Self-Serving Stupidity Will Not Be Served

(I am a customer, standing third in line behind a very well-dressed woman in her 50s—we’ll call her Customer #1. The cashier, in her 70s, has just finished ringing out a young 20-something woman with pink hair. It is about 1 am and I am dead tired, literally swaying on my feet. There are three other customers behind me, which we’ll call Customers #2-#4.)

Cashier: *to Customer #1* “Oh dear, just a moment!”

(With that, the cashier runs off after the pink-haired customer, who has left behind a gift card she just purchased. Angrily, Customer #1 slams a 24-pack of canned drinks on the counter and turns to me.)

Customer #1: “I bet she is going to try to make me put this back in my cart, but I won’t. It’s a little game I like to play called, ‘Who’s Getting Paid for This?’”

(Note: Customer #1 has left a 40-pound bag of cat litter and 20-pound bag of cat food in her cart, both heavier than the drinks.)

Me: *shrugs*

(The cashier returns, panting and out of breath.)

Cashier: “Sorry about that. She left her gift c—”

Customer #1: “I don’t care. Just ring my purchases up!”

Cashier: “Oh, um… right, sorry.”

(The cashier rings the small items through, double-bagging the cans and folding the clothing with care, before using the hand scanner to ring up the drinks, the litter, and the cat food.)

Cashier: “Your total is [price], ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, it’s about time. Load my d*** cart so I can get the h*** out this s***hole!”

(The cashier sets the bags in the cart around the litter and cat food, and then looks at the 24-pack of drinks.)

Cashier: “You’ll have to set the pop in the cart, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it.”

Customer #1: “You can’t lift it? What kind of bulls*** is that? Why the h*** not?”

Cashier: “I can’t lift over 10 pounds; doctor’s orders.”

Customer #1: “That is none of my business. Why are you telling me this? Just do your d*** job!”

Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You asked her why; that is why she’s telling you. Ugh!”

Customer #1: *glares at Customer #2* “Well, this is not acceptable. Get your manager over here now. Maybe he can load my cart since you are too lazy.”

(At this point, I’ve had enough and grab Customer #1’s 24-pack of drinks and set it in her cart.)

Customer #1: “What the f*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Lady, it is 1 am. I am tired and want to go home. I will load the d*** groceries in your car if it gets you out of the way faster!”

Customer #1: “You have no right to touch my groceries!”

Customer #2: “And you have no right to be such a b****. You didn’t have to lift it, she did…” *points at me* “…even though you obviously were able to put it in the cart and on the counter by yourself. You got your change, so get out of the way!”

Customers #3 & #4: *echoes of agreement*

Customer #1: “Well, I never—“

Me: “It is obvious you have ‘never.’ You have NEVER had to work a low-paying job with a**hole customers who get enjoyment out of making your life harder. We get it. Now go away!”

(I set my two items on the counter as Customer #1 stomps away to customer service.)

Cashier: *crying silently* “Thank you so much.”

(Customer #2 and I stand away from the register for a few minutes talking after that. Customer #1 has caused enough trouble at this point to be escorted out of the store by the store manager and security. Afterward, the store manager hugs his cashier and sends her to break so she can calm down. As it turns out, the cashier is his ailing aunt who has been working while getting chemotherapy. She really isn’t supposed to be working at all, but is unable to afford treatment otherwise.)

Store Manager: “There is only so much stupid I can tolerate!”