Self-Fulfilling Jealousy

, | Friendly | March 10, 2014

(I’m sharing a dorm room with a friend from high school who has always been a bit of a drama queen. Most recently, she’s decided that I hate her boyfriend. This is despite my repeated assurances that I actually think her boyfriend is a pretty cool guy. The following conversation takes place just after her again mentioning my non-existent hatred of her boyfriend. At this point in my life, I’ve never dated/had a boyfriend, and I’m a little down.)

Roomie: “What’s up?”

Me: “I don’t know. I guess talking about boyfriend stuff has me a little upset.”

Roomie: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you know how I’ve never had one? Is there just something wrong with me? Something repellent to guys?”

Roomie: *nodding wisely* “So that’s what it is! That’s why you don’t like [Boyfriend]! My mom said it was probably because you were jealous because I always have guys hanging around me.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Roomie: “Don’t worry. I can find someone who will like you.”

(And, indeed, this incident was immediately followed by several weeks of her trying to hook me up with a guy that later got kicked out of school for sexual harassment. Thanks, bud!)

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