Seen One Too Many Joints Today

I’m returning a joint of pork to a major supermarket because it is bad. I’ve left it in its original packaging — a plastic tray and cling film — and also rewrapped it tightly in clingfilm and double-bagged it, tying the bags closed.

Me: “Hi, I bought this joint yesterday. When I opened it, it smelled terrible, and when I took it out of the packaging, the bottom was a weird black and purple colour. Here’s my receipt.”

Customer Service Assistant: “Okay, is it within date?”

Me: “Yes, I bought it yesterday; it’s well within date, but it’s definitely bad.”

Customer Service Assistant: “Why do you think it’s bad?”

Me: *Pause* “I just said. It smells terrible and it’s a weird colour. It’s in the original packaging, but I’ve wrapped it up in clingfilm because of the smell.”

Even through the wrapping, the smell is starting to waft around.

Customer Service Assistant: “It should still be fine if it’s within date.”

Me: “It definitely is not fine. It’s going rotten.”

Customer Service Assistant: “Did it taste bad?”

Me: *Pause* “I think you need to call a supervisor.”

The supervisor peeked inside the bag to check the barcode against my receipt, gagged at the smell, apologised profusely, and gave me a refund and a £5 gift card as an apology. The CSA stood there the whole time, looking confused, and as I was leaving, I heard him say to the supervisor, “Doesn’t it have to be out of date to be bad?” No, dude, it doesn’t.