Seems Like She Was Born Yesterday

| NY, USA | Learning | July 16, 2017

(I am a teacher’s assistant, helping the parents of new students prepare for their first year in school.)

Parent: “It says here that on a kid’s birthday, you give them a crown and a small present. My kid’s birthday is during the summer, though.”

Me: “Ah, you see here? We have a special celebration at the end of the school year for kids whose birthdays happen while we are on vacation.”

Parent: “So he can’t come in to celebrate on his birthday?”

Me: “No, if the school is closed for vacation, he can’t come in.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July.”

Me: “Our school is closed in July.”

Parent: “How will he celebrate his birthday then?”

Me: “Well, here it shows, our summer birthday kids have a special celebration in May, while we are open.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July.”

Me: “Right.”

Parent: “So my son can’t have a crown and a gift because school is closed over his birthday?”

Me: “He gets his crown and gift in May.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July!”

Me: “Yes, but we celebrate all kids who have summer birthdays at once, while we are in session, in May because we aren’t open during the summer.”

Parent: “His birthday is while you are closed though! This is ridiculous!”

(He stormed off. Later, I heard him having practically the same conversation with our director, who seemed no better than me at explaining things.)

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  • Luke Green

    How are you this stupid? And did you think about weekends? Huh?!

    • Kraziekat

      ‘Dad’ didn’t want to be responsible for the party.

      (I say ‘dad’ cause the pronoun he was used in the last paragraph.)

  • ✓ᴰᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ Dee

    Kids today are spoiled. I have a summer birthday and never had an in school celebration.

    • Scott Rivers

      it’s almost like times change or schools are different

      but sure blame the kids for everything especially when they didn’t ask for it

    • Adrian Mckeehan

      It’s not the kids fault. It’s the parents who think their kids need to have everything every other kid has.

    • Alisha Breithaupt

      I have never heard of a school that acknoliged during the school Birthdays but not summer ones. That must have sucked.
      My Grandfather just turned 90 and he talks about him and his twin brother trying to convince one of their teachers that oven though one of them was born in October the other one was born in the summer so they could get extra presents at the summer Birthday party.

      • Max

        I don’t think my school did out-of-school birthdays, but we only had one year where in-school birthdays were actually acknowledged with anything more than some verbal congrats from the teacher. There was a polystyrene cake. I wound up crying on mine because I sat on an errant drawing pin.

      • Donna Perry

        My birthday is in August and school started back up in September. It was never acknowledged. The only time my sister’s birthday was ever acknowledged was the year school got back from winter vacation on her birthday.

        • Patrick Lambert

          You know what you got instead?b You got to spend your birthday not stuck in school.

        • One of my sisters has a summer birthday. Another was born on Veteran’s Day, so no matter what day of the week it was, there was no school on her birthday.

          • Zetal47

            Where I went to school for kindergarten through third grade, they announced birthdays during the daily announcements.

            My school had a high enough Jewish population that we got Jewish holidays off.

            My birthday managed to be either on a weekend or during Rosh Hashanah. They didn’t do anything for kids whose birthdays fell during days we didn’t have announcements. I was so mad. And then I got over it.

    • Cyran

      Wow it’s almost like the kids who had what you did grew up, realized exclusion sucks, and did what they could to fix it.

      • Kitty

        I was excluded about things. I realized that they weren’t worth it, anyway, so why bother?

        • Cyran

          “why bother” is how you get systemic oppression in the future.

      • TheWonderRabbit

        I get what you’re saying, but I feel “okay it’s the last day, so you 6 kids born over the holidays get a gift all at once, instead of on your birthday. Now let’s move on to other things”

        Still kinda exclusive. Like how sometimes teachers roll-call from the bottom of the list to switch it up. M and N names still have to wait until the middle…

    • Betty

      “I didn’t get to do the thing so no one else gets to either!!!”

    • Siirenias

      I have a spring birthday and still never had an in school birthday.

    • AsaeAmpan

      It’s cute that you’re too stupid to understand that times change and regions are different. Not to mention it’s THE DAMN PARENT who is crying and not the damn child.

    • Jonathon Side

      Pretty sure my schools never acknowledged birthdays at all. So, y’know, get over it.

    • They can’t help it with parents like the one in this story.

    • Austin Blessing

      And its your generation who spoiled us

  • Ghostest

    The only year there was something special in class for birthdays (in first grade), my teacher solved it by celebrating un-birthdays at the mid year mark. So, since my birthday is in July (tomorrow) I had an un-birthday in January. That way I had a special day and was acknowledged as an individual.

    • Cipher

      My second grade teacher did that for my half birthday (my birthday is in August so my half birthday is in February). It was kind of neat.

    • Siirenias

      Were I a teacher, I would celebrate birthdays once a year with a tea party, on the birthday of Lewis Carroll.

      • Brandon

        That’s really cool!

    • Bethany Lieflijk

      …I just read the above story and still wondered why the school thinks JANUARY is a better time to celebrate birthdays.

      • Novelista

        As someone who was born in January, I think that’s fine.

        I agree with Cipher, though–if you celebrate the half birthday of a summer child, it’s going to end up during the term, which is just as good of an idea as a mass party in May.

        • Bethany Lieflijk

          It’s because in Australia, January is the month where there is no school.

          • Novelista

            …and the story takes place in New York. What’s your point?

          • Bethany Lieflijk

            That I read this story and that didn’t sink in?

      • Ghostest

        In my case, it is six months from my regular birthday. If your birthday is in June, July, and August then your un-birthday/half birthday would be December, January, February, and maybe part of March respectively.

  • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln

    Well maybe you should have planned it out so your kid would have been born in the spring.

  • David Sandiford

    “You should fix this! It’s not my fault my child was born outside term time”
    “Actually, it kind of is”

    • Kitty

      Thank goodness I was born 2 weeks early or my birthday would’ve been during summer vacation, too!

      • Michelle

        Mine is in our summer holidays, too – mere days before Christmas – but I never missed having a big hoohaa over my ‘big day’ every year!!

        • chickenface

          Big hoohaa? I don’t think it means what you think it means.

  • Kitty

    “It’s celebrated EARLY! I know my main dialogue partners during the day are six year olds and my speech may come across as a little simplified, but exactly how much do I have to dumb it down for YOU to get that, Sir?”
    By the way, my birthday is in July, too. German schools do not let out in June, though, but I don’t remember the more memorable school years (as in, anything from 5th Grade onward) to have had a big party or anything. I might have brought in cookies or so that my mother had baked to share with the class, but that’s it. You wanna come here and whine at me, too, parent?

  • Matt Westwood

    How much simpler life would be if teachers and pupils didn’t think it was necessary to get each other f***ing presents. What a f***Ing bag of utter [email protected]

    • Kitty

      I never got presents for my birthday from school… thank god Germany isn’t as stupid as America in its “all included” philosophy.

  • Caron Trout

    Maybe you should have planned to have him in the winter then

  • I’m guessing the mother’s saying “I can’t have my child celebrating his birthday alongside OTHERS! you need to open your school in July for my special precious angel so he can be the center of attention that he deserves to be”

  • This is a real “May or May not” situation, isn’t it?

  • TheBigBadWolf

    Funny, I always loved not going to school on my birthday.

    • Rachel Schmachel

      And I hated going to school on my birthday. I don’t think there was anything I wanted less than to be the centre of attention, especially by a bunch of people that didn’t care about me the rest of the year.

      • Novelista

        I had mentioned to my friends that when I turned eighteen, I wished I could be feted like the popular kids–so they turned up with bouquets and balloons and one friend even drew me as Luna Lovegood and taped copies up all over the school.

        It was a pain in the arse to lug that stuff around school all day, but I sure love my friends for their effort all these years later. <3

        • Rachel Schmachel

          That’s lovely. I was a bit nervous about being the centre of attention at my wedding, but we only invited people we loved and that made it wonderful. Good friends are gold.

          • At your own wedding you are not the center of attention, you are the ONLY attention (not counting the yummy wedding cake)

          • Rachel Schmachel

            Fortunately for me, my husband is highly entertaining and there were lots of children. Also, it was small group with lots of friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I did enjoy my “ooh” moment though.

      • Carrie

        My birthday always falls around Labor Day/weekend so my birthday was right at the start of term, or the start of term. I never missed having party in class because of everything else going on and trying to get settled. It really isn’t the huge deal dad made it out to be. As an adult, I take that time off instead!

  • Kathryn Hammer

    The only time I ever had a school acknowledge was when I was in kindergarten, even then it was just the ablitiy to bring in cupcakes to share with the class and you were given a “special” birthday pencil.

    I did think the pencil was the coolest thing ever when I got one… oh the joys of being young and easily entertained.

  • Mike Carr

    Don’t blame his lack of comprehension on yourself (or your director).

  • AsaeAmpan

    Ma’am, you deserve to have your child taken away from you, you are far too stupid to live and as such too stupid to raise a child without messing them up.

    • Medusa Jordan

      It was his dad.

  • Denton Young

    Sir, you know when summer vacation is. If you didn’t want this, you shouldn’t have gotten your wife pregnant in October. Wait until January and your kid’s birthday will fall during the school year.

  • Kevin Conti

    To any kids who may be upset about having a summer birthday: just be glad your birthday’s not in December.

    • Pisces

      And be happy you will never have school on your birthday

  • Christine Wood

    The dad should be grateful they do anything for his kid. My school never did anything for birthdays except a mention on the weekly bulletin, which I was never on since I was an August baby.

  • Jonathon Side

    And the sad thing is, I bet the kid would understand it quicker than the parent….

  • Lev Borovoi

    Next time think before you conceive!

  • Medusa Jordan

    Why would he give a toss? My sons birthday is at the end of May so he was always on half term and he was really happy about that. I don’t need a school to make my sons birthday great!