Seems Like She Was Born Yesterday

(I am a teacher’s assistant, helping the parents of new students prepare for their first year in school.)

Parent: “It says here that on a kid’s birthday, you give them a crown and a small present. My kid’s birthday is during the summer, though.”

Me: “Ah, you see here? We have a special celebration at the end of the school year for kids whose birthdays happen while we are on vacation.”

Parent: “So he can’t come in to celebrate on his birthday?”

Me: “No, if the school is closed for vacation, he can’t come in.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July.”

Me: “Our school is closed in July.”

Parent: “How will he celebrate his birthday then?”

Me: “Well, here it shows, our summer birthday kids have a special celebration in May, while we are open.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July.”

Me: “Right.”

Parent: “So my son can’t have a crown and a gift because school is closed over his birthday?”

Me: “He gets his crown and gift in May.”

Parent: “But his birthday is in July!”

Me: “Yes, but we celebrate all kids who have summer birthdays at once, while we are in session, in May because we aren’t open during the summer.”

Parent: “His birthday is while you are closed though! This is ridiculous!”

(He stormed off. Later, I heard him having practically the same conversation with our director, who seemed no better than me at explaining things.)