Seeing Red In The Blueprints
I bought a house with a garden and sold my flat. The buyer was a foreign worker who had been renting until then. He doesn’t speak Italian, but he makes himself understood when he wants to.
A few days after the sale, he called me asking for a document he needed. Many exchanges later, it was established that he needed the floor plan, with quotes. Cue a lot of “I already gave it to you” “no you didn’t” back and forth.
Luckily for me, I had a scan saved, so I printed it on my ancient greyscale printer and went to meet him.
Me: “Hello [Buyer], here is a scan of the plan you needed. I don’t have anything else, so keep it in a safe place, okay? Now, you’ll see that this wall marked here does not exist…”
Buyer: “Yes, yes, it was red.”
A-ha!
Me: “Where it was red?”
Buyer: “On the… paper…”
Me: “Oops.”
Looks like someone did have that paper after all…
Our last interaction was just as surreal…
Buyer: *On the phone.* “[My Name]! The window broke, you must fix.”
We managed to establish that the window itself is fine: just the roller belt wore out and snapped, as it is wont to do.
Me: “I see. Say, when you lived in [previously rented house], who fixed window?”
Buyer: “Landlord.”
I highly doubt that, but meh.
Me: “Are you paying rent in there?”
Buyer: “No…?”
Me: “Congratulations! You have become a landlord, and now you can fix your windows. I left fifty meters of spare roller belt in the garage. Bye!”
I have no doubt we were going to have lots of similar conversations in the future, so I blocked his number after that.
