See You Later, Alligator!

, , , , , | Friendly | September 5, 2018

(I’m with a few friends, hanging out at one of their houses. This friend lives near a couple of freshwater lakes. We’re out walking around the neighborhood near one of the lakes. I see a set of eyes pop out of the water at the other end of the lake.)

Me: “What’s that?” *points in the direction of the eyes*

Friend #1: “Where? I don’t see anything.”

Friend #2: “Oh, don’t worry. There’s no gators around here.”

(The eyes start slowly moving closer. I see an alligator snout pop out of the water.)

Me: “Y’all don’t see that?

Friend #1: “Oh, now I see it. Huh. I guess there is a gator around here. Don’t worry. It’s not moving very fast.”

Me: “That’s because it’s stalking its prey. And I’m pretty sure that we are its prey!”

Friend #2: “I don’t think so.”

(I glance over and the eyes and snout have edged closer. I start jogging away.)

Friend #2: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I grew up around here. I learned about what to do in case of a gator. I don’t have to outrun it. I just have to outrun both of you.”

(My friends looked at each other, then at the gator, and started jogging toward me.)

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