Secret Agent Man Loses It
Me: *on the phone* “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you today?”
Customer: “Yeah, I need to know what kind of GPS tracers you have.”
Me: “Certainly, sir. We have the Zoombak system here for–”
Customer: “No no no, I need something smaller!”
Me: “Smaller? What are you looking for exactly, sir?”
Customer: “I want to get a GPS that I can slip onto someone’s person so I can follow them around closely! I think my wife’s having an affair.”
Me: “Sir, we don’t sell anything like that here.”
Customer: “But you sell GPS’s!”
Me: “The receivers, sir.”
Customer: “And the transmitters?”
Me: “Huh?”
Customer: “The transmitters for your receivers!”
Me: “No, sir. Not that kind of receiver. We only have the kind that tells you where you are.”
Customer: “So you have nothing I can use to track people? Why not?”
Me: “Well, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”
Customer: “What about those things for tracking kids, or the things the police use?”
Me: “The police have special forms for use, and special power to enact them. And the ones for kids are special-case as well, as the child is under 18, so consent isn’t need–”
Customer: “Well then, I want to follow my son around!”
Me: “You just said, ‘wife.’ And we don’t have them.”
Customer: “Oh. What about tasers?”
Me: “We don’t sell weapons.”
Customer: “You don’t sell a lot of things, do you? What about audio bugs?”
Me: “Sir, it seems you want the spy shop. I can give you their number–”
Customer: “Oh, I know all about them! I’ve had covert training, pal! I just thought you might appreciate my covert business. I guess I have to go take my elite covertness over to the spy shop, then. Jerk.” *hangs up*
Coworker: *listening in*“You sure that wasn’t a radio station screwing with you?”
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Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
