(I am teaching, and our assistant principal has decided to do a contest to encourage us to keep attendance up towards the end of the school year. She makes it a Star Wars theme. I like the idea, and begin wearing a button every day with a picture of Yoda on it. Then the AP begins to post signs around the school with pictures of Darth Vader that reads “May the Force be With You”, and pictures of Yoda that reads “There is no try, there is only do.” As a geek, I was a little bit more than slightly annoyed. When the third very wrong sign came out – “Don’t join the Dark Side, Skywalker” – I approached the assistant principal.)

Me: “Would you like some help with your signs?”

Assistant Principal: “No, I’ve pretty much got it. I google a picture, and then put a quote.”

Me: “I know it’s silly, but you’re not putting quotes. Not really. I’m a geek, and I’m a bit weird about this sort of thing. Sorry.”

Assistant Principal: “I’m a geek, too. You have to know because I wanted to do a Star Wars contest.”

Me: “Yes. I did think that was pretty neat, but Yoda said, ‘Do or Do Not. There is no try.’ And it would make more sense if Obi wan said ‘May the force be with you.'”

Assistant Principal: “Who? Now you’re making stuff up.”

Me: “Obi wan Kenobi? The Jedi who started training Luke Skywalker?”

Assistant Principal: “The old guy? In the first movie?”

Me: “Um, sure yes. The first one they made. They called him Old Ben on Tatooine.”

Assistant Principal: “Yeah, I know. See, I’m a geek, too.”

Me: “Sure. But I’m still willing to help you with your posters.”

Assistant Principal: “Look, I’m a geek, too. And nobody else watches the movies, so you can deal with it.”

Me: “Are you misquoting on purpose for the contest? Because I don’t have a problem with that.”

Assistant Principal: “No, I’m not misquoting. I’m just a bigger geek than you.”

Me: “I— you know what, I’m going to go back to my classroom and clean something.”

(Nobody has been taking the contest seriously anyway, so I take my button home and decide not to wear Star Wars clothing for the rest of the contest – in order to avoid conflict. The next day is a casual day, so I show up in a Star Trek Original Season Science Department uniform. The students are used to me showing up in geeky clothing and are not fazed. The AP meets me as I sign in.)

Assistant Principal: “You can’t fool me. That’s not even the right movie. Why did you come dressed up from the wrong movie?”

Me: “Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.”

Assistant Principal: “…okay, so you’re here. But which movie are you supposed to be from?”

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(It’s my first week on the job, and I’m talking to a few of my coworkers, trying to build some sort of friendship.)

Me: “Oh, do you watch Star Trek?”

Coworker #1: “Oh goodness, not another one.”

Coworker #2: *shaking her head* “You’ll get along with [Manager], then.”

(Just at that moment, [Manager] leaves for lunch. Before he leaves, he turns to the assistant manager.)

Manager: “Number one, you have the bridge.”

Assistant Manager: “Aye, captain.”

(I can’t stop laughing, while my other coworkers shake their heads. Later on, I need to ask my manager a question about my work.)

Me: “…so, [Manager], I believe that’s the correct course of action.”

Manager: “Make it so.”

(I try to stifle my laughter, as I see my coworkers shaking their heads even more. Needless to say, my manager and I have become the best of friends!)

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(My family is watching ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’. This particular episode includes a character named Barclay, who is selected as part of the away team, and must be transported during an ion storm. He has a panic attack, and refuses.)

Dad: “You know, if I recall, Doctor McCoy wasn’t too keen on being transported either.”

Me: *quoting* “I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget!”

Sister: “Why is Mom giving [My Name] that look?”

Me: “Because she’s embarrassed that her daughter is such a Trekkie, that she can produce appropriate quotes on cue.”

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(My boyfriend and I are super ‘Star Trek’ nerds, and recently both finished going through and watching EVERY episode from the original series onwards. We have both just finished watching the last ‘Deep Space Nine’ episode within days of each other. We start a conversation over text.)

Me: “You going to sleep? I’m going to re-watch a happy episode before I go to sleep. This last one was depressing.”

Boyfriend: “Night, love you.”

Me: “I love you, too. You mean the absolute world to me. I would never leave you to rebuild the morphogenic matrix of my people. I’d let some other shmuck do it.”

Boyfriend: “Best. Quote. Ever.”

(I’m a regular patient at a particular clinic due to a lasting disease. I’m going into a procedure that requires anesthesia; the anesthesiologist is asking me several questions.)

Anesthesiologist: “…and last, are you familiar with Star Trek?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Anesthesiologist: “The gas we’re about to give you is similar to the Borg. Resistance is Futile!”

(They proceed to put the mask on me. I show the Vulcan salute. And as I’m drifting off, he salutes back.)

Anesthesiologist: “Live long and prosper.”

(I was glad to have been taken care of by a fellow geek!)

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