(We have a toddler whose middle name is Tiberius.)

Husband: “If we ever have another boy, we should name him James. Leonard James.”

Me: “That’s actually not too bad. I like the name.”

Husband: “And then if we have ANOTHER boy, we can name him Kirk.”

Me: “I don’t really like the name Kirk.”

Husband: “No, you don’t understand. We have to name him Kirk.”

Me: “Wait…”

Husband: “So then we could have James Tiberius Kirk! And then if I become an officer and get to the rank of captain in the army, we could be Captain James Tiberius Kirk!”

(It’s the night of the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Naturally, there’s a large number of people dressed up like Star Wars characters. I then notice someone dressed up like one of the crew from Star Trek: The Next Generation.)

Me: “You, sir, are a very brave man.”

Me: “So, if Star Trek fans are called Trekkies, what are Star Wars fans called?”

Wife: “Literally everyone?”

(We have a young kitten that likes to climb up onto the headboard of my parents’ bed and walk along it in order to see what we’re doing. Mom is constantly telling her to get down. This happens one night while a recent Star Trek movie is playing on TV.)

Mom: *talking to kitten sitting on headboard behind her head without looking* “Get down.”

Scotty: *on TV* “Get down.”

(The picture cuts to his pet-like companion crouched on top of some equipment.)

Me: *starts laughing while my mom gives me a look* “You’re in sync with the TV!”

(My buddy and I buy tickets to go to Comic-Con. I am new to the whole ordeal and whatnot so I am excited to go. At the convention we start talking to these bunch of guys who are dressed up as ‘Star War,’ and ‘Star Trek’ characters. They seem really into it.)

Friend: “That’s really cool. So, you guys are going around as a whole group?”

Them: “Yeah, man. It took us a bit of a while to make these look as authentic as possible, but now that I look at it, I think we did a fine job.”

(I tried to join in the conversation so not as to seem awkward because I haven’t said anything to them at all but wave hi.)

Me: “Uhm, so, is Star Wars better than Star Trek? I haven’t really watched any of them.”

(And just at that moment, my friend turns around and gives me a look that can only be described as “what have you done?”)

Friend: *without skipping a beat starts laughing* “Come on, man. Quit joking. You’ve practically seen the whole trilogy!”

(And that was the time I almost started World War 3 at Comic-Con.)