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Scream If You Wanna Go Karma

, , , , , | Friendly | May 4, 2019

My friend and I are at a local coffee shop. We both just left school so we are wearing our backpacks, which are bulky and cumbersome. As my friend is walking past a table to leave, her backpack catches a spice shaker and knocks it onto the floor. The shaker is small and doesn’t make much noise when it lands. That, coupled with the background noise in the coffee shop causes her not to notice what happened.

She is already out the door, so I go to pick the shaker. Then, this woman, whom I have never seen before in my life, comes up to me ranting and raving about disrespectful teens and how we can’t just start destroying things and not picking up after ourselves. I point out that I am picking it up, that my friend knocked it over by accident, and that there is no harm done. This does not placate the rude woman. She then starts yelling at the barista that my friend and I are trying to destroy coffee shop property and should be banned. The barista, who was watching this whole insane situation, takes my side and tells the woman she cannot harass other customers.

I leave the coffee shop and my friend asks me what delayed me. As I am explaining, the rude woman comes out after me and starts screaming at my friend and I more. My friend’s dad pulls up in his car to drive us home; we hurry to the car as the woman is yelling incoherently behind us. He asks us what happened as the woman is literally banging on the car windows and yelling about how disrespectful and awful both my friend and I are.

I’m shaken but I explain the best I can. My friend’s dad isn’t amused; he rolls down his window enough to roar at the woman to keep her hands off his car. She pales, shuts up, and backs up. My friend’s dad then gets out of the car and marches into the coffee shop. A minute later he and barista appear, and the barista starts talking to the rude woman, who begins crying and storms off in the direction of the parking lot. My friend’s dad explains that the barista has banned the woman from the coffee shop.

About a week later, I am walking home. I am passing a crosswalk that a man is crossing when a convertible comes out of nowhere and screeches to a halt right in front of the man, nearly hitting him. The driver then starts screaming at the man for being in the middle of the road, saying it would have been his fault if she had hit him, and so on. Lo and behold, it is the same rude woman from the coffee shop. The man she nearly hit just flips her off and walks away.

The rude woman turns towards me for support, saying that you just can’t reason with some people. I tell her I agree completely and that I see she’s just as unreasonable and crazy wherever she goes. Her face first goes blank, then bright red as she recognizes me. She steps on the gas pedal and swerves off, tires screeching, towards a street corner that a cop usually stays by with a radar gun, waiting to catch people speeding. I walked away cackling as she was screaming at the police officer for pulling her over.

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