Scout’s Dishonor

| Friendly | November 21, 2016

(I am at home and hear a knock on my door. This is the time of the year where the Girl Guides usually go door to door selling cookies. I have already bought two boxes at this point. I open the door and, sure enough, I see a young girl who looks 9 or 10 years old.)

Girl: “Would you like to buy some cookies?”

Me: “Sorry, I already bought two boxes.”

Girl: “Who sold them to you?”

Me: “A tall girl with brown hair. Do you know her?”

Girl: “Yes. You should throw her cookies out once you get them. She likes to poison the cookies. She killed a billion people last year.”

(This is obviously false and I try to tell the girl once again that I don’t need any more cookies.)

Me: “That doesn’t sound right. I don’t want any more cookies.”

Girl: “I just need to sell ten more boxes.”

Me: “Sorry, but I don’t have any money.”

Girl: “Get some money. I’ll wait!”

Me: “I don’t feel like going out.”

Girl: “Just buy some cookies; you don’t need to eat them.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

(At this point I can see that this isn’t going anywhere and shut the door.)

Me: “Bye, good luck next time.”

(The door is shut but I hear someone talking. I go back and see the little girl with a cell phone.)

Girl: “[OTHER GIRL], YOU M*****-F***ING B*****! I TOLD YOU I WANTED TO SELL IN THIS AREA!”

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