Schrödinger’s Phone

(This happens way too often, but I still understand that some people don’t want to or can’t keep up with technology. An elderly person enters the store.)

Elderly Customer: “This phone I have… I’ve had it for several years now, and the way this specific button blinks… I can hardly sleep as this button blinks all night; it bothers me all the time, no matter what I do or press on the phone. I’m out of options and don’t know what to do anymore.”

Me: “Just press the blinking button for two seconds.”

(The customer slightly taps the button. If it were a cat, it would start to purr.)

Me: “Please press and hold the button for two seconds.”

(The customer taps the button harder, still too short. If it were a cat, it would probably look at them funny.)

Me: “Sir, when the light flashes on your phone or this specific button, you have to keep it pressed for two seconds to see your missed calls. Please try again.”

(Usually, with a little time I do it myself, but to help them learn it I let them try it themselves.)The customer taps and holds the button with all of his might. At this point, they have a face like having a workout with heavy weights. If the phone were a cat, its eyes would probably pop out. Suddenly, it works. They look at the screen, exhausted and terrified at what they did.)

Elderly Customer: “Oh, my… the light… it stopped! How did you do that?”