Scheduling To Have Your Lungs Removed

(I’m waiting at the doctors’ with my mother. She has an appointment to get a prescription. She has been staring intently at a wall covered in health posters for a good fifteen minutes when she leans over to me and says the following.)

Mum: “What kind of surgery do you think it is?”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Mum: “Look at the poster. It says ‘this surgery supports quitting smoking; talk to your doctor today.’ What kind of surgery is it?”

(I look at her and then at the poster and then back to her. I struggle to contain laughter.)

Me: “Surgery means doctor’s office, GP clinic. You know, the place we are right now. With the large sign ‘SURGERY’ out the front!”

Mum: “I thought it might be some kind of implant, like the birth-control one…”