Before You Tell Lies, Make Sure You Know The Truth

I am working in the gym, and I overhear this guy “warning” a girl.

Guy: “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I just overheard that guy in the red shirt.”

He points at my friend who is across the gym.

Guy: “He was saying some extremely crass stuff about you in the locker room. It was really graphic. He was talking about your purple spandex and how much he liked it. I couldn’t just listen and not tell you because you deserve to know what certain people are really like.”

Listening to this, I am furious. I saw this guy watching my friend and the girl talking in the gym — she had approached him — and I could tell he was jealous, mainly because he was complaining to someone else that he “wanted to get with her.”

He is making up this lie to throw my friend under the bus. I also know it’s a lie because I was just in the locker room and nothing of the sort was said; the dude he is lying about has years of showing that he is actually a really nice, respectful guy. There is also a very important third reason.

The guy finishes up his tall tale, and before the girl can respond, I scoff really loudly and say:

Me: “She knows you’re lying just to try to get in her pants. That guy would never say those kinds of things about her because she’s his sister, you moron.”

The look on the guy’s face is priceless. He goes pale and stammers:

Guy: “I… I must have got the guy mixed up.”

Girl: “Uh, you were very clear about pointing my brother out.”

Guy: “Then I must have gotten the girl he was talking about mixed up.”

Me: “She’s the only girl wearing purple spandex.”

The guy actually looked like he was about to cry, and I never saw him in the gym again after that.