Scan-dalous

(I’m working a cash register at a supermarket.)

Me: “G’day, how’s it going?”

Customer: “Yeah, pretty good, thanks.”

(I begin to scan her items.)

Me: “So do you have any plans for the rest of your day?”

Customer: “Yeah, I hope to get laid for the first time in three years!”

(I look over to see she had amongst her groceries: several punnets of strawberries, dipping chocolate, oysters, condoms, and personal lubricant.)

Customer: *beaming*

(I return to scanning her items in silence. She pays and gathers her items.)

Me: “Have a great night.”

Customer: “Oh, believe me, I will!”