Scammed Out Of Trans-cendentals

(I’m working at a hotel for the first time by myself late at night. A strange-looking customer walks in. I assume she’s a woman by her dress and heels she wears.)

Strange Customer: *in a strangely deep voice* “Hello, I’d like a room, if you don’t mind… Here’s my ID and credit card.”

(She hands them to me. I run it through.)

Me: “Sorry, it’s declined.”

Strange Customer: *strangely unsurprised* “Oh, I’ve been using it all day; probably I’m at my limit! Let me call my bank.”

(She makes a phone call that I can’t hear. I sense something amiss, and quickly photocopy her ID. She turns back to me.)

Strange Customer: “My bank says it’s all right now.”

Me: *running it again* “It still says declined.”

Strange Customer: “Oh, no, sweetie. All you have to do is put in this code…”

(She says a code and baffled, I type it in, doubting it will work. To my shock, it does, and the credit card goes through.)

Me: “Okay… well. Here’s your keys and sign the reg card…”

(I give her back the card and ID, and she saunters off. I think nothing of it until the next week, when a police officer comes by.)

Officer: “Yesm I need to talk to you about this guy.” *holds up photocopy of ID*

Me: “Oh yeah… I remember… Wait a minute — ‘he’?”

Officer: “Yes. Did he have a disguise?”

Me: “Yes, he was dressed as a woman!”

My Boss: “Come on, [My Name], that is clearly a man in the picture!”

Me: “I know. I just thought that he was a really ugly woman…”